


One Big Happy Family???

by joeyrz



Series: The Spoiler Series [4]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-10-20
Updated: 1999-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyrz/pseuds/joeyrz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joxer breaks the news of Xena’s ‘condition’ to Ares and other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Big Happy Family???

**Author's Note:**

> PLOT!!! I have a plot!!! Not beta’d; all mistakes are mine. BIG SPOILERS: for "Animal Attraction"!!! This is the cut scene that explains where Joxer was at the end of this episode.

“So, do you know the news?” Joxer asked as he finished eating.

“What news?”

“You’re gonna be a grandpa!”

The god of war choked on the wine he’d just taken a sip of.

“You did that intentionally!”

“I didn’t,” Joxer said as he tried to keep a grin of his face. At Ares’ scowl he admitted.

“Okay, okay, I did time it,” the younger god said, slipping of the chair and falling into helpless giggles. “But you should have seen your face. That’s one for history.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny, Jox. Now, are you going to explain yourself?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, it seems Xena is pregnant.”

“She’s what?!?!”

“She’s pregnant.”

“Who did… when did… how did… Please don’t tell me it was my annoying half-brother.”

When Joxer stopped laughing, he got up from the floor and walked over to the fireplace, settling on the fur rug.

“Who did: she doesn’t know. No, it wasn’t Hercules. She hasn’t, well, you know, in a long time. Except Gabby, anyway. When did: apparently about a month ago.”

“A month ago? A month ago she…” Ares said as he sat down behind Joxer, cradling his lover to his chest.

“She, they came back. I know. How did: that’s the mystery.”

“You couldn’t tell?”

“Hey, I’m a god, but I’m not Hera. That is not my area of expertise.”

“Yeah, yeah. So, I’m gonna be a grandfather again. So I guess that makes you step-grandfather, huh?”

“And you’re gonna tell that to Xena?”

“And have her skin me alive for corrupting Joxer, the Mighty? No thank you.”

“She wouldn’t skin you alive. She’d kick your ass, kill you, *then* skin you.”

“Funny, Joxer. Working on your humor?”

“Yeah, what do you think? I’m starting to think about putting on a show or something.”

“You’d be a hit,” Ares said sarcastically.

“Hey thanks,” Joxer slapped the war god’s thigh. “Anyway, Cupid went messing with Armon and Amarice.”

“He did? I didn’t know Armon was there.” Ares tried for innocent and failed miserably.

“You asked Cupid, didn’t you?”

“Not really.”

“Ah. You just suggested, right?”

“Maybe,” Ares said sheepishly.

“Jealousy does not fit you Ares. How many times do I have to tell you? It was a mistake; we were both drunk, and partying. One thing led to the other…”

“Jox, you don’t have to explain again. I believed you the first time.”

“Then why did you-“

Ares interrupted. “I guess I didn’t want that, or him, distracting you. Cupe told me Armon was still pinning for you. But that it was just lust. I guess I didn’t want you two getting drunk and horny again together.”

“Oh come on Ares. Armon doesn’t compare to you. Let’s just forget about all of this. Maybe those two really do make a good couple.”

“So back to Xena. What did Gabrielle think about all of this?”

“She’s taking it pretty well, considering the whole Dahak thing. You don’t think it was… I didn’t get any bad vibes or anything, but-“

“NO! No, Hercules, for all his faults, banished *him* for a while. Besides, we’d sense it if he was near again.”

“You think we should ask Hera is she could-“

Ares scowled.

“Nope, scratch that.”

“We’ll wait Jox. I have a feeling all will be revealed in due time.”

“Okay. So, what do you want to do in the meantime, gramps?”

“Watch how you speak to you elders, young one. I can pull you onto my lap and give you a sound slapping.”

“Really? Kinky!”

The war god shook his head. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Cupid and Strife.”

“Speaking of who, they brought over a new toy Cupid wants us to try,” Joxer said, leering suggestively.

“A new toy? What’s wrong with good old fashioned, *toy-less* sex?”

“And what’s wrong with new and improved, *toy-full* sex?”

“They are turning you into a monster.”

“And you are turning into an old foggie, gramps.”

“I didn’t see you complaining a few hours ago!”

“And I didn’t see you complaining last night!”

“Are *we* actually fighting about *sex*?!?!”

“YES!!!”

They locked gazes and reduced into a fit of laughter.

“Aaah. Come here, love.” Ares opened his arms to receive Joxer. Snuggling together by the fire, the younger god turned his head and kissed Ares lightly.

“Gabrielle’s got a horse now.”

“Really? It was ‘bout time. All those years walking while Xena rode Argo. I wondered why she hadn’t before. What’s it called?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t say. Wonder if she’ll name him Joxer?”

Ares hit him over the head with a pillow. “Only you would ask them to name a horse after you. I would rather my grandson be named after you.”

“What makes you so sure it will be a boy. It could be a girl.”

“Oh, and we’ll call her Joxerina.”

“You could do worse.”

“I’ll let you know Areia is a very nice name.”

“And Joxerina isn’t?”

“Not really.”

Joxer scrambled to his feet, armed with a pillow.

“You’re asking for it, Areia.”

“Yeah? Show me what you’ve got, Joxerina,” Ares said, getting up and fetching a pillow of his own.

Joxer delivered the first blow, connecting with Ares’ side. But Ares’ greater skill won out. And the pillow fight ended with feathers strewn all over the floor, and with two very exhausted gods on the bed.

Joxer sat up and looked around the room.

“This place is a mess!”

Ares waved a weary hand and the feathers vanished and the furniture went to its pre-pillow fight state. The same hand grabbed Joxer’s shirt and pulled him down to lay on the bed again.

“So,” Ares paused to kiss Joxer. “About Cupid’s new toy?”

The End


End file.
